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you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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