He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
