how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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