we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
