They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
