There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
