I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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