I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
