apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
