i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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