Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
