she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize