I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
