Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize