It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
