Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
