I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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