so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
time to smoke my breakfast
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Randomize
