A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
you made out with another girl for some wings
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
