I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
