what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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