If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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