Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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