I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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