So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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