i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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