Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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