We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
