Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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