so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
