bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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