do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
