On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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