ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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