so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
