those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
