Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize