Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
