He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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