I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
