im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You took a bar mat shot.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The power of my boobs compel you
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
