im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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