My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm at about main and main street
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
