im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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