So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I need a beard to bite.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
