you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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