there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize