Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
