1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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