Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize