I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
