Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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