I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
