is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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