Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
His nipple licking is glorious
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
