Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
