Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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