Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
