Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
