butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you still have your period?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
