I wannas sexs uuuuu
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize