It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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